The Bitter Banana Bi-Weekly

Tabasco Sauce Doesn't Make You a Big Man, not for Asians Anyways

2007-11-24T20:52:00.000-08:00

It's funny how impressionable the emotionally-battered Asian young adult is.It's like you socially deficient chinks NEED to humiliate yourself by doing stupid shit like this... In order to prove that you have any testicular fortitude (or "balls" in common English, or "barrrrrrrrs!!!!!@@!!" in your bloken engrish tongue) at all.It works for Maddox, it works for a U.S. Marine to keep himself awake

How to host a perfect Asian Party!

2007-10-26T18:57:00.000-07:00

Note, that white guy in the middle is just some poor tool wishing for some sweet yellow pussy. He'll be promptly consumed down, marrow and bones, upon the climax of this party.How to host a perfect Asian party!!!Halloween is almost here, and there is no other fun like having a strictly supervised by your parents, non-alcoholic party with your fellow asian peers! For a proper Asian party you must:

Moving to new home domain...

2007-10-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

It's been like, over a year since the last time I wrote on this article.But have no fear, avid readers of the BBB, I am moving over to a new site, a home domain site, with superior bandwith limits and web design and formatting.In a short while or so, all the articles here will be posted inwww.AllAboutAsians.org

I'm just keepin' it real with the rice fields...

2006-11-09T14:55:00.000-08:00

As a unmarried and semi-sterile Asian myself, I find it difficult to nail it with a girl in the first place, but if you were to be lucky enough to have one arranged by your parents, remember the following “No’s” that you should prevent your wife from exhibiting, unless you want her to leave you alone and unloved. Try preventing the following traits by employing regular yellow-on-yellow

Major Update!!!

2006-01-30T19:28:00.000-08:00

On December 11, 2005, I have presented an article that outlined the obvious antagonism between orientals and members of the canine family. In search of evidence I stumbled upon this little numberQuote:"The Army believed that there's a distinct Japanese scent that dogs can be trained to sniff out. So the plan was to train attack dogs so they can be sent to the jungles in the Pacific."The argument?

Asians Are Not Funny

2006-01-25T12:49:00.000-08:00

TV and movies dictate that Orientals are funny if and ONLY they serve as comical punching bags. From that penny-pinching Jap landlord from “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” or that scheming, unpatriotic, gook from the classic “Sixteen Candles”, a abused Asian = Comedy Gold! Subconsciously we all hate Asians, even Asians themselves, thus making abused Asian

Oriental Babies Are A Fucking Eyesore

2005-12-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

Don’t inquire me about how cute your squirming yellow blob is. If I have to look at another member of God’s Biggest Mistake being brought into the world, I’ll cut myself in two with an industrial razor, starting from my genitals, up to the top of my scalp, then down and back to the other end of my swollen, hairy, and very dark “raspberry”.Man was created when God and his wife Lucifer were

Doggies Love The Yellow Taste Of Chinamen!

2005-12-11T13:57:00.000-08:00

I would have been a avid pet lover, were it not that my idiot ChinaDad had consumed every damn dog I owned.Canine is a common ingredient for any “Shanghai Surprise” present in the menus of a Far East eatery. Thus, it is no surprise that dogs in this century answer the chink’s mutt-lust with a riposte of their own, vigilant and violent resistance by incoherent barking and biting.Common fact

Reasons Why Orientals Can Never Overtake the 22nd Century Part 2

2005-11-20T11:05:00.000-08:00

They Can't Shut Up About Being Better Than UsWe should just deport any Fresh-Out-of-the-Boater (FOB) who can’t assimilate into American society without trying to convert us. Keep your stupid customs back at your own damn destitute home country. We hate enduring the delusional self-indulging bullshit drivel that chinks seem to boast about, the superiority of their numbers, race, and culture. The

Holiday Cautions: Halloween Forecast

2005-10-30T17:42:00.000-08:00

Cosplay, that abominable crossdressing fad imported from Japan has swept across the nation, capturing the praise of millions of fickle sophomores and freshmen across the country. This year, your going to notice a significant spike of the aroma of nerd musk in your neighborhood. I advise you to clutch your revolvers tightly, lest you find atrocious freaks like this pressing against your window:If

Reasons Why Orientals Can Never Overtake the 22nd Century Part 1

2005-10-01T10:26:00.000-07:00

The personality issue.I'm been hearing this shit over and over again, often from my Asian "friends", bragging that African Americans will die from AIDS transmission, Latin Americans rendered in a azoic-like state from coke consumption, and their lowly white-suckups as servants for the Yellow Autocracy of Fucking Absolution.Try looking at the mirror once in a while, maybe you'll understand of the

A expected lax in updates to come

2005-08-30T14:04:00.000-07:00

Due to demands of my homework, college admission, and other real-life responsibilities, the frequency of my updates will decrease in punctuality.Don't worry, the blog will be updated, but on a less often basis.

This Month's Table Of Contents

2005-07-17T01:14:00.000-07:00

Advice On How To Kidnap And Marry Asian Skanks!An Objective Analysis Of Rice Eaters.The Bitter Banana Manifesto.

Advice On How To Kidnap And Marry Asian Skanks.

2005-07-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

A word of advice, unless you have lots of dough, some rags, and perhaps a bottle of chloroform, scoring with Asian girls will be a difficult task. I'll give you the hands-down facts on dating Asians. As a staple part of slant-eyed tradition, a Chinese guy's worth in life is how much banknotes he can haul in so his miser parents can nab it from his long, skeleton-like fingers.So as a foreigner,

An Objective Analysis Of Rice Eaters

2005-07-17T00:58:00.000-07:00

Commonly Defined Characteristics Of Asian Male Younglings1. Nobody likes them, their persistence in sticking with ridiculous Dip Sung traditions has rendered them socially inept to catch up with today's pushy trends, heartpounding fashion, and catchy comebacks.2. As stated above, the average Asian is a social retard. Beneath their ugly exterior is a very uncharismatic dermis of dorkitude. They

The Bitter Banana Manifesto

2005-07-15T11:39:00.000-07:00

As your typical Angry Asian American, I feel your pain.Our naive forefathers have immigrated to this country hailing from somewhere in the East, bringing in bizarre traditions and customs whom our Western comrades laughed upon. For decades, slurs of "Chinga Wonga Chong" or "Yellow Kung Pow Chicken", has been murmured behind our skinny yellow backs, even today.And what have our insensible