Saturday, November 24, 2007

 

Tabasco Sauce Doesn't Make You a Big Man, not for Asians Anyways

It's funny how impressionable the emotionally-battered Asian young adult is.

It's like you socially deficient chinks NEED to humiliate yourself by doing stupid shit like this...



In order to prove that you have any testicular fortitude (or "balls" in common English, or "barrrrrrrrs!!!!!@@!!" in your bloken engrish tongue) at all.



It works for Maddox, it works for a U.S. Marine to keep himself awake on firewatch, but it DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU!


All it does is make you look like an idiot. It firmly establishes that you do not have any self-esteem or respect, but instead, you are leaking pure white-hot sweats of self-hatred through your pores.

You think making yourself look like a stupid clown on YouTube or Google Videos is going to make people like you? They'd get a short laugh, but then shake their heads in dismay. Girls are going to be like totally "Ew!". And you'll be sitting in the corner of your room in a fetal position crying, with cartoon and Warcraft porn plastered on every square inch of your room. each poster representing a facet of sexual encounters that YOU WILL NOT be getting anytime soon.

Are you fucking sure that you do not have any other talents than pretending to be a fool? You are really doing bad at it you know.

You stupid Asians are acting like high school freshmen at a time when you are supposed to be a matured college undergraduate. I suggest that you should look at your ugly self in the mirror, and think of a list of changes in your life immediately.

My recommendations:

1. Get a girlfriend, and no slanty-eyed mail-order brides or arranged women
2. Distance yourself from your parents
3. Get off from your comfy World of Warcraft gaming chair and stop bitching about game and class balance on the forums. If you had a bad time online, go outside and do something.

Friday, October 26, 2007

 

How to host a perfect Asian Party!

Note, that white guy in the middle is just some poor tool wishing for some sweet yellow pussy. He'll be promptly consumed down, marrow and bones, upon the climax of this party.



How to host a perfect Asian party!!!


Halloween is almost here, and there is no other fun like having a strictly supervised by your parents, non-alcoholic party with your fellow asian peers! For a proper Asian party you must:

1. Have apple juice ready at the tap in place of beer (only stupid white devils and black people drink beer in a party!). Ramen noodles are also a must to provide adequate nourishment during heated Warcraft deathmatches!

2. Have additional surge protectors and expansion ports installed for your attendees' computers. World of Warcraft, Starcraft, and Warcraft 3 games will BE the major highlight of your AWESOME ASIAN PARTY!

3. Tell your friends to bring their parents with you! A great party should be a safe party, and every moment you spend on your party, at least one of your friends should be crying tears by the combined browbeating pressure of all of your awesome Asian parents, even if they arn't your parents. This makes sure that the party remains safe and completely sterile of white devils and black monkies from crashing your AWESOME ASIAN PARTY!

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