The Bitter Banana Bi-Weekly

As your typical Angry Asian American, I feel your pain.

Our naive forefathers have immigrated to this country hailing from somewhere in the East, bringing in bizarre traditions and customs whom our Western comrades laughed upon. For decades, slurs of "Chinga Wonga Chong" or "Yellow Kung Pow Chicken", has been murmured behind our skinny yellow backs, even today.

And what have our insensible ancestors do in retaliation? Nothing, perhaps even siding with and sucking up to these racial bigots without even lifting a finger. Our cowardly predecessors have disgraced us, shamed us, even sold us out to elevate themselves to their Aryan American Overlords. Asians to this day, still have that backstabbing, treasonous trait in our hearts, its a unfortunate flaw our culture.

But back to the point. I hate myself too. I hate my eyes. I hate my frail exterior caused by years of useless mental conditioning in arithmetic that my math teachers don't even use due to culture clashing. I hate my low probability of developing a social life with non-Asian races. I hate how chinkster phonies run me off the road on my bicycle with their obxious chromed Honda rice rockets. There is no such thing as "Asian Pride", or for those gooksters with difficulties in literacy, "Azn Pryde". Get a life you stinkin' rice-eating disgraces!

I propose we should secede and alienate ourselves from anything Asian. Don't buy imports. Save your yellow dignity by buying domestics like Fords, Dodge, or Chevrolets. Don't eat rice. Eat pizza, pasta, burgers, or for those of you more health inclined, fashion your own patties and grill them. Don't watch kung fu flicks with little or no consistent plots. Watch quality screenplays written by noted American scriptwriters.

Note how I have said "American", it does not mean strictly white, it can be latino, black, middle-eastern, anything as long as they have done the same thing we have, converted themselves strictly to the correct methodology of the "American Way", motivated by the wonderous "American Dream". All you need to achieve it is determination.

And that is my manifesto.