The Bitter Banana Bi-Weekly

Don’t inquire me about how cute your squirming yellow blob is. If I have to look at another member of God’s Biggest Mistake being brought into the world, I’ll cut myself in two with an industrial razor, starting from my genitals, up to the top of my scalp, then down and back to the other end of my swollen, hairy, and very dark “raspberry”.

Man was created when God and his wife Lucifer were canoodling aboard a cloud. After intercourse, God started wanking his incredible cock (for He has no refractory period), accidentally dribbling his fertile man juice over the Earth, spawning people of all colors except yellow, for yellow is everything that Existence deemed shall not be. But then his girlfriend had a massive queef, raining rancid yellow pus over the World, in which Chinamen are incarnated from. Appalled by this abomination, God damned Lucifer to the deepest boiling caverns of Hell, where she gave birth to Satan.


Why has God not smited the Mongoloid barbarians with a hail of the Blitz of Sanctity is not known. Perhaps he has deemed that the very self-acknowledgement of their existence by Chinamen is already the most brutal form of Hell that can be contemplated by mortals, a mere shadow of the far more spanning sanctum of eternal torture that awaits them in the afterlife…