The Bitter Banana Bi-Weekly

As a unmarried and semi-sterile Asian myself, I find it difficult to nail it with a girl in the first place, but if you were to be lucky enough to have one arranged by your parents, remember the following “No’s” that you should prevent your wife from exhibiting, unless you want her to leave you alone and unloved. Try preventing the following traits by employing regular yellow-on-yellow smackdowns, and if in the extreme, bounding your mate to the kitchen via a fishing line, so every time you come back home, dinner is ready.

Indicators that you have failed as an Asian husband:

• Your wife demands three meals a day
• She asks for "personal freedom" and a portion of your income for allowance
• She takes interest in watching "inferior races" with darker skin tone through the steel bars covering the windows of your home as they work on your new bird fountain.
  

Remember, if she doesn’t look like this…

You definately fucking failed as a husband, yu veddy dishonor yur fami-ry!